The column that follows is also published in the current edition (winter 2011) of Weddings Sites and Services magazine (page 142 and 143).

If you are a fan of wedding reality TV shows, then surely you’ve been tuning in on Monday evenings to “My Big Friggin’ Wedding” on Vh1. If so, you’ve seen my bride Megin and I and all of our crazy daily adventures in planning the “Ultimate New Jersey Italian Wedding.” If you are reading this magazine, there’s a good chance you’re planning a wedding yourself. You're seeking helpful tips and ideas. Hopefully, I can shed a little light on the subject. The show in many ways offers an entertaining tutorial on what to do—and what not to do in planning a wedding.

The first thing I would say is stay true. Stay true to who you are and what you want for your big day. Don’t let outside distractions and opinions interfere with your ideas. It only complicates things. Plus, people still have other stuff going on in their daily lives besides just planning their wedding. Trying to find the time to sit down, talk and tackle all the tasks at hand is a challenge to say the least. With that in mind, allowing the opinions of others to influence your choices just adds additional unneeded stress.

Remember this though, people will have LOTS of opinions—especially members of large, Italian families. My advice? Hear everyone out and make them feel like you are taking their thoughts and ideas into consideration—even if you really aren’t. Debating with them or trying to convince them of your position is simply a waste of energy.

Secondly, be sure and prioritize because if you don’t you will drive yourself insane. As I said, you can’t neglect your regular lives during the planning process. Consider what we had going on in the past six months in addition to planning our wedding: Megin and I were raising our six-year old who just started first grade. Megin’s father was preparing for major hip surgery. We were moving into a new house (without the help of moving men). Megin was pregnant—oh and we were also building up our new meatball business. And, we were followed around every day by a camera crew!

The highs and lows of these major happenings got to all of us. There were lots of fights, lots of tears, but also lots of laughs—and we managed to pull it all together. Had we not gotten so emotionally involved with outside family forces, we could’ve saved time and kept our sanity. Had we prioritized, we also could've had a better handle on things and maybe avoided some occasional blowouts (as seen on TV).

Thirdly, you can plan a wedding on any budget whether it’s five thousand, fifty thousand or five hundred thousand dollars. We had a budget and we stuck to it. As I said, we were building our “Johnny Meatballs” business and its success dictated a lot of the haves and have-nots for our wedding extras.

When researching banquet halls we were upfront about our budget; the same with our DJ, flowers, limos and everything else. Don’t be shy or embarrassed to explain your situation to your vendors because they will help you out. Try doing some things yourselves. For example, we made our own favors and bartered for services like makeup for meatballs. Ciao!

On the day of our wedding at The Landmark in East Rutherford, we had everything that we could have hoped for. Not only did we have an unbelievably delicious meal, complete with a whole roasted suckling pig, caviar-filled meatball ice sculpture and even my meatballs on the menu, we also had white glove service from a staff that treated us like family. I’m sure it helped that Nella Cicchino from The Landmark is Italian herself—even coming from the same place my grandparents were born. She made us feel like relatives in her home, and that was a real special feeling.

And not only did we have a DJ, we also had three live performers—Angelo Venuto, Lucas Prata and even a Frank Sinatra impersonator. We also had balloon-making, face-painting clowns for the kids, cigar roller Tony Santana, and many more unique and interesting twists. Our affair had the feel of a nightclub meets Italian festival/ Jersey boardwalk with all of your closest cugines and cuginettes in attendance. There was something going on at all times.

Although it may not have been completely traditional in the Italian wedding sense, it certainly was a day that had all of the elements of one—with personal touches and possibly new incorporations that many young couples in our shoes may too want to try. Be who you are and you can’t go wrong.