A lot of readers have tweeted and facebooked me regarding last week's blog where I discussed my affinity for saving the R-R-S-J (real red sauce joint). The main thing I got asked was for some specifics on my “criteria,” or my checklist for what I look for when seeking one out, so that is what I will share today.
First and foremost, I like to step into a time warp when I go out to eat Italian-American. The realest red sauce joint to me is a place that's been passed down from multiple generations and is still cranking out the same quality food that they've been doing from day one—using the same equipment, trusty set of pots and stirring those pots with that old wooden spoon we always got threatened with as kids!
Of course, there is a lot more to it than that. A place can be open for forty or fifty years and still flat-out stink. It all goes back to the fact that to crank out quality food you need to work with quality ingredients. Now, misspellings on the menu drive me insane! That's just lazy, no matter what the nationality. It aint "expresso." The Italian flag hung backwards makes my blood boil. It's green-white-red, not red-white-green. If there are old Caddies in the parking lot, you should feel confident you are in a good joint. Bad news if you see a Goya truck making a delivery. So those are just a few examples of what to avoid. If you see those things, it is NOT an R-R-S-J. Below I have broken things down into easy categories to help further explain what to look for and what not to look for…
There's really like six or seven things that are primo important here. A place most likely will not pass every single area of this checklist, but that's ok. Give me some of these and I'm a very happy camper. At the very least, the main chef/cook has to be a paisan to give the place any credibility!
Italian-American Kitchen Presence - Ok, I will say it again...If a joint has a nonna in the kitchen, or a son/daughter/grandson/granddaughter of a nonna in the kitchen, that scores major points in my eyes. Even more points if the entire staff has roots from the boot, from the back of the house to the front. Rare, but I do know places where this is the case.
Regional Inclusions - As I stated last week, I am yet to find a pizza place that offers Napoletan’ and New York style, side by side. But, the good places out there will have true, regional dishes on their menu—if not every day, at least as a special. Pane e panelle (chickpea fritter sandwich) is a Sicilian specialty that many Italian-Americans may not know about. I will admit, I didn't first enjoy one until about a year ago, and it was absolutely amazing. There's no reason why something like that shouldn't be on more menus. The best way to introduce more Americans to things like this is to offer them, little by little. That would broaden people's minds and the best step in doing so is having items like pane e panelle on menus in perfect harmony with the more common riceball.
One such place I know of offers the usual "Italian hero" of ham-salami-provolone but they also make 'nduja—a spicy soft spreadable salami—it's not "new" but it is a Calabrian specialty. As I will reiterate, to make such dishes more "mainstream," they must be easier to find. The rare red sauce joints that include them get stars. Gold stars.
Limited "Brought-In" Food - Of course it would be perfect if a place cooked every single menu item from scratch—appetizer to dessert—but now that is really rare. A respectable place will make most (or at least several) things from scratch. The sauce (or gravy) is a no-brainer. If you aren't going to make your own pasta, serve house-made mozzarella or house-made sausage.
Personally I cook, I don't bake, so unless I hired a baker, I'd bring in a few desserts from my connections such as a gelato or pastry if I had my own place. I don't see this as a terrible thing except...I do know of this one restaurant that calls itself “Cannoli Café,” but they actually bring the cannolis in—filled and everything—from a frozen dessert company. Yes the restaurant name is the name of this dessert dish—implying that that is their "specialty" yet they don't even make it. That would be like me selling Mama Mancini's meatballs off the Johnny Meatballs On A Roll cart! Not cool.
I also stated last week how callous it is to throw around an Italian city's name as an adjective for a dish when it has no connection with that city. Same goes for bringing in "Brooklyn" bread if you are a New Jersey joint. North Jersey has some dynamite bakeries. I guess that's more of a pet peeve to me. When I visit my favorite Jersey institutions, they take pride in the fact that they are Jersey. This segues us into the next area...
The Name Game - Sometimes the name of a place will immediately tell you if it's even worth walking into. Obviously "Juan's Italian Restaurant" is not a real red sauce joint. Never go somewhere with a sign reading: “Italian and Latin cuisine.” (Or any other cuisine.) Need I even address "International Buffets"?
A place that adds grill or grille to the title is usually also a fugazy. I recommend being wary of terms like Mediterranean, artisanal, gourmet, or continental included in the name as well. Beware of a place with a number in its name like "Frankie's 2," because most of the time that means there are four or five of them just like there's a million "Ray's" from NYC to NJ. Technically that may not make it a franchise, but quality is always going to be sacrificed with multiple establishments run by the same guy (or organization). Trattoria, salumeria, caffé (with two 'f's) are a few GOOD keywords to look for. Be careful with bistro and grotto though.
Here are a few more words which, if they appear on a menu would most likely indicate you are not in a real red sauce joint: organic, gluten-free, vegetarian/vegan. I know all those terms are super trendy right now and even some real old-school joints have given in to the hype. But I've been saying this for years—no matter what kind of food you are eating—as long as your plate is balanced and you eat in moderation, your weight will remain regulated and you will be in good health. Been working for me. And Italian or Italian-American food (if done right) is some of the best stuff for you, hands down!
The Tablecloth/Chianti Bottle Décor - Here’s the deal…back in the day lots of Italian and Italian-American eateries—no matter how homey or fancy—got the white and red checkered tablecloths with old straw-bottomed Chianti bottles on the tables as candle holders. The origins of the reasoning for doing this can be a whole blog in itself, but the point is, this motif became the standard. And of course, when something becomes overdone, it loses its charm. In the 2000s, this was phased out in a lot of places for more modern décor, but not everywhere. Do I like this? There is a certain quaintness to the originals that have it, but I do not support it as a “retro” look for Joe Schmo first opening up.
So here is what I will say: if the place is at least 30 years old (ok, I’ll even go to 25) and has this, you can grandfather it in and call it the real deal. Of course, it still must pass the rest of the checklist. The ambiance should be warm and welcoming like a relative's home on a holiday or a Sunday. Some marble and statues are always nice but we don't want a "cookie cutter" style like the franchises. Distinguishing the difference can really only be done with experience and a certain "feel." Some photos of Italy are okay too—but not just random stuff like gondolas and the Tower of Pisa. My grandparents are from Guardiaregia, Campobasso in the Molise region so if I had a place it would have photos of their village. Capeesh?
I'll usually walk out if I see a "Scarface" poster or if there is a sandwich named "The Scarface." If you see cans of tomatoes (or any items) with "Supremo Italiano" displayed, that's another red flag right there. Those are generic Restaurant Depot items that one should not cook with, let alone display as if it is something to be proud of—or as if that somehow declares you a supreme Italian. Fugheddaboutit.
Diverse Music - Atmosphere is always better with a little Dino or Frank coming from the speakers. But don't play them just to be cliché. I hate that. And just like including unique regional selections with the familiar staples on the menu, a maitre d' should be sure his playlist is diverse and showcases a wide variety of Italians and Italian-Americans from Lou Monte to Bocelli to Angelo Venuto to Bon Jovi. Just as there should not be ONLY sausage and peppers served, opera music shouldn't be played 24/7. Joints that bridge gaps and don't gear themselves towards one extreme is what I like. There's no better setting for me and my family than one aided by Pepino the Mouse followed by a little Livin' On A Prayer.
Now I've been to Italy and to several Little Italy enclaves from here up to Boston, down to Philly and several others. Had good and bad Italian and good and bad Italian-American food. If it's important to you, you will seek out a real place. These are just my personal tips and what I find important. You may agree or disagree but I would hope you take some of my advice here. I know the big question I'm going to get next is, can I list a few real red sauce joints that I eat at? So, before you ask, here are five (in no particular order) which possess about 90% of the things I look for and I'd recommend you visit. Google them for more information...
Angelo's (Lyndhurst NJ), Caffé Espresso Italia (Newark NJ), Fontanarosa's (Totowa NJ), Barcelona's (Garfield NJ), Hanky's (Palisades Park NJ).
So last but not least...you are judged by the company you keep, right? You will always know if you are in a real red sauce joint if there's real guys from the neighborhood hanging out! Paisans and paisan-ettes perpetuate these places. Wow, say that five times fast. But all kidding aside, the regular Joes and Josephinas are the clientele and that's not to discriminate against any other groups out there. We certainly live in a melting pot world, but it's always nice to be surrounded by Italian-American families in an Italian-American eatery. Folks that you would NOT find at the Olive Garden would definitely be found in a R-R-S-J. Can visits to such establishments make for a good TV show? Heck, I think so! How about a cast which includes Tony Danza (Mr. Italoamericano if you ask me!), Steve Schrippa, maybe get Goumba Johnny, Frankie-the-Butcher...Marisa Tomei for some spice??? I'd sure watch that! A cugine can dream.
Mangia, my friends!