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Things I miss about Naples

Things I miss about Naples

Marina Melchionda (June 7, 2009)
Quartieri Spagnoli, Naples

New York, 2 am. Thoughts of an Italian-American girl

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Being an Italian-American has always been quite tough for me. In America they always called me “the Italian girl”, in Italy “Ammericà”. But I really did not know “what I was”. I can say that my family did a great job educating me and teaching me the “good values” that would help me become a “good person”.

But some were Italian values, and some were American. And sometimes they colluded. Since I spent most of my life in Italy, and more specifically, in Naples, many times I felt “different” from my friends, my colleagues and people living in my neighborhood. This discomfort was one of the main reasons that led me to a crucial decision: to leave Naples and find “my place” - the city where I could start a new life and feel free to be myself.

 
I moved to New York one year ago or so. I already know that I will not live here for the rest of my life although I love this experience and hope that it will last a long time. I look at this city as a “bridge” that “connects” my past to my future, wherever it will be. I am starting to understand much more about myself. But most of all, I found my identity: the Italan-American identity. So, for the first time in my life, I feel part of a community, I feel similar to many people that share an important life experience with me : being neither an American nor an Italian, but  “hybrids” who have their own culture, history, and maybe even language.
 
A month or so ago, we interviewed a number of Italian-Americans at the Calandra Institute of Queens College and asked them what is the first thing that comes to their mind when they think about Italy. I just watched the video again and asked myself the same question. The first thing I realized is that in my case it is not Italy that I think about, but it is Naples. In my city they said that “Napoli è terra straniera” (Naples is a foreign territory) or that “siamo il Nord dell’Africa”(we are the Northern part of Africa). Yes, because Naples is not Italy, it is a small planet on its own, where people obey different laws, have different values and carry on a “Neapolitan life style”.
 
Just a year ago I had arrived at the point where I hated that city.
 
I hated Camorra organized crime, the baby gangs, the garbage emergency, Vesuvio ready to explode at any time, the abusive infrastructures and the rotting hospitals and schools.
 
I hated the helpless unemployment, the almost pandemic state of poverty of a high percentage of the families, the gossiping women sitting on the doorsteps, the children playing soccer in the middle of the square and ready to kick the ball with the extraordinary power of their skinny legs just when I was trying to cross the street, and the always-complaining-grumpy-old-men sipping espresso coffee at the bar all day long.
 
I hated the constant negotiating with the “fruttivendolo” (greengrocer) and “macellaio” (butcher) to have a little discount on a very expensive pound of “cerase” (cherries) or filetto, the dioxine in the mozzarella, the rudeness of the waiters in the “pizzerias” and the sensation that I was pretending “too much” from them if I asked for another fork because mine was dirty.
 
I hated the abusive parking attendants to whom I had to give “due, non meno” (two euro and not less) to watch my car otherwise they would probably vandalize it; the constant fear I had that somebody would steal my pocketbook from my hand or my earrings or necklace; the danger in taking the subway after 8 pm; the real possibility that somebody on the bus could take my cell phone from my backpack.
 
I hated all of these things, and much more. So I went away.
 
Now a year has passed by and I have lived a whole range of experiences here in New York. I would never ever go back to Naples, it certainly is not the place for me place, it is not my future. But now at least I can say I do not hate it. Or better still, I miss it a little bit. I miss my “Neapolitan routine” as I used to call it, and some things that in Naples are “normal” but not in the rest of the world, especially in Manhattan.
 
The following is a brief  list of the things I really feel I miss.
 
First of all, the sea. It might seem quite strange to you since Manhattan is an island, but I miss the sea. Here I do not feel the presence of the ocean, at all. I can’t smell the dampness of the seashore, my hair can not find the rhythm of the sea breeze. I remember my fishmonger advising me on the deal of the day. “Pigliete chest che è pesce paesan” (Take this, it is  local fish), as if he raised that cod fish in his backyard… Now I do realize how the sea was part of our everyday life.
 
Second, the days spent at the bar in front of my University. I used to go downtown and wake up my friend Rodrigo at about 9 am. We had our first coffee at 9:30, our breakfast. By the time it was 5 pm, we easily had 8 empty espresso cups on the table, four each. We used to stay there all day long, people saw us from far away and joined us for a half an hour or so. That was a great way for both me and him to study, meet friends, discuss our dreams, ideals, opinions and, of course, argue. The waiter used to come every once in a while trying to find out if we were finally going to leave the table to some other client, but there was no way to kick us away! And of course he eyed us very badly when his shift was over and we were still there, and he had to go away with no tip at all!
Now I look back and I realize that it was something we could do only in Naples. Only in that spot of the world’s map do people have the right to waste a whole day like that, and nobody can do anything about it. It is just the way it is.
 
Third, the screams. People in Naples scream, it is in their nature. Every hour or so you can hear a mother of child screaming from the window something like “Gennà saje che t’agg fatt a merenn” (Gennaro come upstairs, I have a snack for you) to the kid playing downstairs carefully watched over by his grandma or some widow dressed in black sitting outside her tobacco shop. Everybody in Italy recognizes Neapolitans by their loud voices, it is like a trademark. Here in New York I hear people screaming only when there is an emergency or something dangerous is happening. It is the exception. In Naples, on the contrary, it is when people are quiet that there is something wrong, and you have to start worrying. Silence can become the best way to communicate when you know the “Neapolitan code” that allows you to read the other’s mind without saying a word. Otherwise, when a Neapolitan screams, don’t worry. He could threaten you, but be sure that his hands won’t go further than his words. And, after he finishes, you can just walk away.
 
 
Fourth, the beer. Yes, of course I drink beer here in New York. A pint of Guinness is always a fair treat after a week of work. But you can only enjoy it indoors.
Here it is illegal to sip from the bottle while walking around. Too bad, because when I went out in Naples this is how I used to spend my evenings with my friends. “A passejata (a walk) a Piazza del Gesù” was “a must”. A beer each and a couple of guitars on the doorsteps of the church and we were all set. Singing and dancing in the middle of the street was a “habit” for us, and people in that neighborhood came to know “sti pazzariell” (these crazy kids) and sometimes also applauded our…performance! It was funny to see how the group got larger and larger as the hours passed by, with other groups joining us. Now that I think about it, I realize how Naples never really became a metropolis, but always remained in a certain sense a small town. A village where housewives leave the entrance door of their apartments open so that the other women in the building can step in and have a cup of coffee at the kitchen table. A place where people can be very egoistical and self-centered but also very generous.
 
Naples is a living contradiction; it is black and white together. But, as we say here in America, “that’s the way the ball bounces” and after all it is not that bad.
 
 
 

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Napoli

As a proud italo-americano from NYC I have to say there is no other city in the world where I feel as comfortable as being in NYC than Napoli. My family is from San Marzano Sul Sarno (known for pomodori). I love Italia but Salerno/Napoli area is the best area of Italia!!!!!Forza Napoli!!

Naples is akin to New York

As a born New Yorker of Neapolitan ancestry who now lives in California I have much empathy with the author. I hated New York when I lived there. I saw only its crowds and filth. But after years of living away from it, I appreciate it greatly. It is, in many ways my personal essence as well, I think, that of the entire United States.

Naples is that way to Italy. Outside of Italy when one thinks of things "Italian" one is thinking of things Neapolitan. This may upset non-Neapolitan Italians, especially northern Italians, but it is true.

What is "Italian?" Spaghetti, tomato sauce, pizza, mozzarella, espresso, and scores of other food items. They're all Neapolitan either in origin or in their most ideal form. And that's just food.

How about emotion? Opera, popular music, film, live theater. The best, most typically Italian, are all Neapolitan.

Even personal looks. Isn't Sophia Loren, even as she nears 80, still the quintessential "Italian beauty"? Of course, she is and she is very Neapolitan.

True, Naples, like New York, has its dirt, crime and quirks. But in both cases, their positives far outweigh their negatives.

Naples is a colony

I am sorry, but one thing you should do is to study more in depth Naples' history.

If you don't acknowledge that Naples and its national territories (that Italy nowadays calls erroneously "southern Italy", but have gone under the name of their capital, Naples, for centuries) are currently administrated according to neo-colonial strategies, then many of the critics you move towards Naples are not put in the right perspective.

The Neapolitan nation has given a lot to the entire world during the time it was independent and now it has been reduced to something to laugh at thanks to the inept false national state called Italy.

Italians don't exist. You *are* Neapolitan-american. And, if you know the "italian" community in New York well enough, you probably know that people that are from (or descendent of people from) the so called southern Italy call each other "Napulitan" or "Neapolitan", even if they are from Matera, Potenza, Lecce, Cosenza, Bari, etc. etc.

Even in latin America is the same, where they use the word "tanos" nowadays to indicate "italians", but the word comes from "napolitanos", who have been the majority of the immigrants coming from Italy to south-America.

Neapolitans are currently illegally and illegitimately occupied by the Italian state, that still today operates as a colonial occupier in those territories.

A Stranieri perspective

Great article and made me want to jump back on a train to Naples!

As an Englishman who has pretty much moved to Italy and Venice in particular, perhaps I can offer some insight. I was raised in some fairly poor areas of the UK, & my parents often didn't have enough money for food, going hungry so my sister & I could eat. But even on the council estate in Liverpool's Norris Green, it always seemed clean (perhaps the incessant rain had something to do with that). My overwhelming memory of my first trip to Italy with my Latin teacher Mr Cubberly (God rest him for he must have passed on by now!) was of the dirt & decay everywhere. But this is not a criticism! For it was this which added the character, the antiquity to everything! The dust, the peeling plaster of Venice, which I gaze at for hours, this is what I fell in love with. Scrubbed repeatedly within an inch of my life by my mother, I experienced the joy of being a grubby backpacker amongst grubby people who seemed to have 10 times as much life as me and hurled themselves into it with a gusto that we reserved Brits lacked! Sadly on that trip we never got to Naples (the train pulled out of Rome, then stopped for half an hour, and went back - they were on strike over something in the South, quell surprise!) but on subsequent visits, I found Naples to be the distiller essence of Italy like an overpowering grappa made from a rough wine, but increasingly addictive. You wouldn't want to drink it all day every day, but sometimes, nothing else quite huts the spot. I experienced the same thing when I went to New York, the dirt, the danger, the sheer vitality of life there. I curse Rudi Giuliani & how he sucked the life out of it with his petty little mores, after my last visit I will never go back because it's just too clean & nice, like an airbrushed Disney version, safe for kids but dull as ditchwater for adults (actually ditchwater would taste better!). I liked the guys on the sidewalk trying to get you to visit a tittybar at 11 in the morning & the working girls, they added colour and savour to the place. Italy has managed to get rid of the worst of its seamy side without losing its character! I loved that Berlusconi was too busy with bunga bunga parties & bribes to tackle the deficit, I wish Cameron had some illicit sex in his timetable instead of ruthlessly ransacking our country's heritage, selling our beautiful Harriers to the Yanks for spares and letting those Lib Dems cover England's green & pleasant land with alien windfarms. I worry that the grey man Monti will do the same to Italy. Rise up Italians like your Greek brothers, burn down this imposed tyrant like the Romans of old. Keep your dirt & corruption, your washing in the street, your police who turn up to complain about the noise and stay for a free drink and end up booking the restaurant for a leaving party (I'm the piano player causing all the trouble!). I was washed enough as a kid, now I'm grown up I want to play in the dirt, real, fine, ancient classical dirt! You can keep the New World with its hybrid cars & wind turbines, I want to live somewhere where I can feel the dirt between my toes: Italy! So let's keep Italy interesting, let's keep the dirt and the peeling plaster. You might want to live in an antisceptic hospital ward, but I don't.

contradiction

Thank you for an interesting and informative article. It is especially interesting to me because I have been wondering about Naples recently. I have never been to Italy or know the language, so all I know is what I read in English, gleen from the many immigrants and travelers I have know, and see on TV and the movies.

Reading Booker T. Washington’s descriptions of Naples in 1910, it was quite a horrific place to live. But, I assumed that that was the past. Things must have changed -no? Sailors who visited in the 1960’s said no. It was very unsanitary and were given warnings before they left their ships. Then I saw the Soprano’s episodes filmed in Naples and, while not nearly as bad as the 1910 descriptions, it left a very negative impression. Then I saw the film Gomorra and I thought things were better in 1910. Everyone talks about the crime depicted in Gomorra. There have been a number of articles here on i-Italy. But, I was shocked by the depiction of the physical living conditions. I asked by myself, do people in Italy really live like that? This is my heritage? Forget about it - I’m changing my name! Why is it so dirty? Do criminals cause unsanitary conditions? What happened to ‘fa belle figura’?

Your article has given me more to wonder about. If you asked me: “What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Italy”? Like you, I guess - Contradiction! For most of my life I never thought about being of Italian descent or about Italy. Now I seem to think about nothing else. I have many other intellectual interest, and yet Italy has become my siren’s song. I look at the books on my shelf that I keep meaning to ‘get to’, but don’t. I think it’s because I am intrigued by the contradiction. Nothing stimulates the mind more than when presented with ‘A and not A’ simultaneously. And nothing presents ‘A and not A’ more often than Italy.

Thanks again, Tom Verso

marina's picture

Contradictions over contradictions

Tom, You don't know how much I agree with you. I know exactly how you feel. When I lived in Naples, I was completely disgusted by the city. I hated it, as you could read in the article. I felt ashamed for what the world knew thanks to Gomorra and books, and I just wanted to go away. You know what was the first thing my American friends asked me when I came here last year? "How is it going with that rubbish crisis?". That was the first thing that came to their mind when they thought of Naples, and that was mine too at the time! (besides all the other good stuff... But something has changed, and I am almost looking for going back this summer and see how I will "react". I never felt a Neapolitan, and I never thought I would some day. But a year has passed by, and I can easily define myself more a Neapolitan-American than an Italian-American. I think Italy is one of the countries where local culture is maybe stronger than the national one, and I look at myself and I see "a melting pot" (as it is called) of American and (not Italian but) Neapolitan heritages. I constantly think about this, just like you are. Before I couldn't care the less about being Neapolitan, now it has become the center of many of my inner thoughts. Reflecting on my identity has almost become "One of my interests"... or maybe a passion?

dicamillo's picture

This was a nice read! Being

This was a nice read! Being Neapolitan in origin, I decided to take a trip to Naples in a few weeks and I'm wondering if I will hate it at first as you did, but then grow to appreciate it...

marina's picture

Visiting Naples...

Andrea, I Hope you'll have a great trip to Naples. When you get there, do not expect to find Paradise of course...if you arrive in Stazione Garibaldi, you'll be welcomed by poor immigrants and homeless people, but don't be frightened! You just have to "get used to the city" and appreciate what it can give you, which after all is a lot. At least it is a life experience! Tourists usually have two kinds of reactions: they love it, and love also the worst of it...they are intrigued by this little small world with its own rules and values (they are really its own, you'll see!; or they hate it and want to go away ASAP...let me know about yours!

Vide Napule e po' muore

Yes after numerous years of objectively learning about and experiencing Napoli from remenants of my ancestry and of course books, and internet. I for many years have considered myself Neapolitan-American. I'm sorry Americans that hate hyphenated Americans, its just the way it is, and you guys helped me forge that identity becuase that is the way you looked at me. Guido, Italian guy, are you from New York or New Jersey, etc... It's funny Americans love to tease Italian Americans about there external looks or habits but the moment they express pride in their heritage they say. Your not from Italy, your American just like me. Envy my friends, Italy and being Italian whether it is full blooded or not is a truely a special thing, stay proud. It's OK because after finally getting in touch with family in Caserta I had the opportunity to experience 10 days in and around Napoli. Two things I noticed, yes Napoli is an ancient city that will forever hold on to its traditions and past, but 2 it isn't as scary or as uncivilized as it is made out to be and seemed fairly modern (in a rugged kind of way )to me. It definately is a contradiction between the old and the new. I was suprised to know that my cousins listen to country music. I also was suprised to see how much they like Americans, (most families had ancestors that came to America and came back) In the mall Beyonce was blarring on the radio. To me it was paradise, surrounded be my people and alot of American culture. I could go on and on, the hospitality, the friendlieness of the people, the way of life it seems like there is a rythm to life, where here we are stuck in a maze trying to find how to live. I loved it, in the states you can go to any bad section of a city and probably not come out alive. I think that most American cities are corrrupt they just don't have the abilty to call it the mafia. Now I am sure certain parts of Napoli are under Mafia law, but the same thing happens here. I do realize that I am nieve becuase 10 days isn't really enough to experience all of the bad like garbage crisis and violent crime. At the moment I am currently learning the dialect and prepared to take my family back to Caserta to at least see if we can sustain for a few years. My family told me to come back with my family I am forever attached to these people. If not maybe we will move up a little north to find some work. It's in my blood now, don't go there for too long if you are of Neapolitan descent becuase you my never want to come back.

I loved your

I loved your article!Evrything is so true. I was born and lived in Torre Del Greco,20 minutes from Naples,until I was 23 . Now I live in Vancouver ,Canada.We left because of everything negative you said about Naples,but I miss it so much!I miss everything you miss!We were there 3 years ago for 4 months in Castellammare Di Stabia ,very close to Sorrento.Our children love it there,but we would never go back to live .It's true Napoli and Napoletani are a species of their own,with all their negative and positive attributes. Even though my family is originally from Capodimonte I never really felt 100% Napoletana.I refused to be associated with all the negative and sometimes true stereotypes about Napoletani.But I do love Naples,"Vedi Napoli e po` muori". Pino Daniele e Gigi D'alessio say it best in their songs! Ciao e grazie per la tua passione nei confronti di Napoli. Con affetto Napoletano, Rosangela