I’m still kind of shaken up over this whole Robin Williams death. I really am. I can’t recall the last time I felt this way about a death that was not someone I knew personally. I know it’s been flooding the facebook news feed for the past few days non-stop and I see a lot of harsh comments out there being written about how we should move on….not cover it or talk about it….or that Robin Williams “had it all” and he is the one who was selfish so we should not be even talking about it. I will get to the whole selfish thing in a moment but let me address just the public reaction/reporting of it first.

Look, I totally get the fact that we have troops dying in wars and we have kids starving to death or even unrelated issues not about death such as of course all the day to day political and economic stuff that I am not even going to touch here. But the fact remains, when someone who is a public figure---an actor/athlete/whatever---is in the news, good or bad, that’s going to dominate the headlines. Why? Because we the readers are the ones who see their movies and buy their music and go to their sporting events… Without the fans, there would be no entertainment and that is our escape as human being so it is only natural for the majority to want to learn about things that happen in their off-the-stage life. It makes them human. Does not lesson any other people or occurrences that take place in our world and we have enough news resources now between TV and the internet where if you don’t dig this sort of thing, you can easily go elsewhere. Now some of the “shock value” tabloid style coverage I can do without but that is for a whole other blog and I have talked about that before anyway.

This is really not even about Robin the performer in particular who I was very fond of as an actor (my favorite of his is “Popeye” which I find to be an underrated and underappreciated classic) but this is more about a human who is no longer with us because they chose to end their life. Too often we see these Hollywood stars and such where this kind of thing happens whether it’s drug related or whatever it may be....Now most of the time I am actually not shocked at all and just shake my head thinking---another celebrity who let the glitz and glamour of that whole show-biz scene go to his or her head. Can’t say I was surprised with Anna Nicole Smith or Michael Jackson, Phillip Seymour Hoffman….or if lets say this happened to some of the other well documented “reckless” young actresses/singers you see now gracing the headlines---particularly these former Nickelodeon/Disney girls. I’m not going to name names---but they’re in and out of rehab and always in the tabloids.

No to me, this situation is entirely different, Williams was truly a legend and Oscar winning actor not your average run of the mill “famous” person and yes his troubles were very public and very well-documented yet it seemed he finally had a handle on it and was focused on his family. (I don’t understand some of the news people where they are saying “how can someone so funny and entertaining be so sad inside” which to me is kind of irresponsible reporting as that has nothing to do with anything). An entertainer has multiple sides but so does everyone, and from the first day Williams broke into Hollywood his struggles from his addictions to depression were well known and even incorporated into his bits. However the shocking part to me is that at this stage of his life all of that looked like it was in the past but this proves you are never “cured” of this stuff and it’s a battle all through life and he lost this battle.

Again, I am in disbelief with how many did not realize his troubles, I guess because I followed his career more than say the “casual” fan I knew the deal but of course not that he was currently in such a dark place again. This would be like if Jim Carrey or Tim Allen were lost either to an overdose or suicide, I don’t think either of them are quite on Robin’s level of talent or accomplishments, but both just seem to come to mind as they are similar types of performers who have well publicized bouts with such issues. It’s an awful story all the way around and I send condolences to his family, especially his children. And that brings me to the whole “selfish” thing which a lot of people have said he was…

Nobody knows the specifics of what kind of dark place he was in when he did this, and to me, that’s the big problem here. Either he did not convey it or it was indeed known and minimized---in either case if things were this bad, Robin never should have been left alone let alone with access to razors and belts. But that’s easy for me to say, those are all things I am sure his living relatives and guilty living with. And that’s just it. If one has any relatives or friends who have to deal with this kind of grief for the rest of their natural lives, there is a certain level of selfishness at play here. Let me clarify a few things before I get nasty letters about how I don’t understand depression or that I am being insensitive. I get it---to HIM he felt like this was his only way out and he felt that he was relieving family members from dealing with his troubles. That is where I feel discussion needs to take place in a big way regarding this taboo topic. In no instance would any sane and loving family member wish death upon another to relieve themselves of any burdens, that goes for mental or physical illness. Perhaps if that was more announced and understood, those who are in Williams’ shoes may not take this route. Or maybe they still would. In that case I do say I am indeed not any kind of expert on the matter or speaking from any experiences just offering some insight as an observer like the rest of you all.

So maybe his ACT was unselfish as it relieved himself of pain but the mindset was a bit selfish. Maybe not at the fault of his own---after all, he was not in his right mind we are aware of that. But again, it just does not seem there is enough awareness and public knowledge about how loved ones can and may choose to potentially prevent this from happening by conveying clearly on a daily basis that their own lives will be ruined forever with sadness, guilt, and a whole bunch of other torturous emotions if they chose this way out. And no matter how much any mentally or physically ill relative is they are NOT a burden…and how much everyone would rather have them on this earth---even at not premium functionality at least they are HERE.

We have all had tough times in life, many of us do suffer from depression, maybe some of us at one point do consider ending it all, but the majority do not. I think it’s key that we zero in on those that did not and learn how they worked through it and show others. I have had my share of difficulties in my 33 years---some harsher than others. I was never at Robin’s point, but I was in bad states. My personal reasoning for why I’ve never gotten to that point and don’t think I ever will was due to the fact that I have strong personal feelings of fear and worry about that whole idea of selfishness. Just the thought of leaving my family and friends in a situation where they may have even a bit of sadness makes me overcome with sadness. I think that’s a healthy way to be to some degree. Maybe it’s also personal fear of going to Hell as it was instilled in me growing up that murder is a sin even if it’s self-inflicted.

But the main thing is my two kids. The day I became a father I knew that I was no longer living for myself anymore and therefore any form of reckless behavior had to be curtailed immediately. I would never want my two boys to feel any hurt, not even for a moment. I live for them and I think the mentality that more people should have is that we may be put on this planet to live for others not ourselves. I am not saying we need to all be missionaries or let ourselves go or give 24 hours a day to only doing good deeds. But it seems there is far too many folks who give zero thought into others. Even if you don’t have kids of your own you are someone’s child and most likely someone’s brother or sister, aunt or uncle, cousin, friend, neighbor. If you genuinely show care for others they will show it for you. Something that may seem insignificant to you may make a world of difference to a stranger. A conversation or any action or activity can change so much for so many yet they don’t occur enough because the mentality of living for others is not instilled enough.

To conclude this blog, I just want to say none of us know what happened in Robin’s final hours. We can’t even speculate. But we can pray for him and his loved ones, by all accounts, he had close loved ones and millions of fans around the world. We should open a dialogue where the taboo parts can go by the wayside and the focus can be on how can this be potentially more preventable by dealing with it differently while the person is here.