I recently overheard an American tourist (flying back from a cruise) at the Delta check-in counter at Nice airport (code name NCE) say: “We’re in Nice, they’re French; they don’t have to be nice.” Now, I know that Americans have an attitude toward the French because at restaurants and hotels waiters and porters don’t like to listen to others’ (or tell their own) life stories, b

ut nastiness is not a French thing; it’s an airline requirement. And in Nice, Delta employees are the ones who don’t have to be nice.

I used to know an American sales agent for Air France who was extremely nice until he reached the airport, at which time he suddenly changed his attitude and became irritable and grumpy.
In terms of nastiness, the airline industry is unique in the sense that no other transport sector can match it: be it car rental, taxi, train, ship, bus or horse-drawn carriage.

What’s also irritating is that the entire airline service chain is nasty, from ticketing to airport security, from food on board to the cramped seating space, from late arrivals to lost luggage, from incentives like frequent flier miles to seat upgrades, from penalties to compensation, from overbooking to standbys, from rebooking to last-minute overcharges, to just plain inconveniences.

It just so happened that at NCE the elevator to the business class lounge was broken, prompting the same lady I had encountered at the check-in counter to comment to an airline employee who clearly did not want to be there, “Do you see, they want to kill us?” after walking up some 10 steps carrying her luggage. I was afraid to tell the “poor” lady (who, after all was traveling business class) to brace for arrival at terminal T4 in New York City at JFK Airport, which has 41 gates and usually requires travelers to schlep their luggage for about 1.5 km before reaching Passport Control, then another 200 meters before reaching the taxi stand, which usually has a 45-minute wait time.

In terms of security, the airline industry ranks below any other transportation service. A case in point is the disappearance of Malaysia Flight MH370 from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing that occurred because of radar “blind spots,” despite worldwide satellite surveillance and military airspace control from the U.S., China and Russia, and the inexplicable triple deactivation of aircraft identification signals. If it were so easy to elude radar, the U.S. wouldn’t need stealth bombers at $929 million per aircraft.

The airlines are also unique because any other business that pulled the same shtick would be under the radar of a slew of alphabet-like U.S. government agencies from ACF (Administration for Children and Families) to TD (Transportation Department). Apparently, airlines are different and they seem to only fall under the “care” of agencies from AFSC (American Friends Service Committee) to YDF (Youth Development Fund).

An airline consultant explained that because of WTO requirements the U.S. government couldn’t help the sector the way it helped the car industry — it allowed the airlines free reign.

The airlines’ business model is also unique. In other forms of transport, travelers pay less for short distances and more for longer ones. With airlines, consumers pay more for short trips and less for longer connecting flights. It’s like a taxi ride around the block costing $10, while a trip across town only costs $5.

Then, in order to save fuel, aircraft must reduce speeds. On a recent NCE to JFK flight the plane was traveling at 458 MPH with a very low head wind. A F1 car could basically run faster! The flight took over 10 hours from takeoff to landing, and in the process, the airline saved about $5,000 in fuel costs (and still charged fuel surcharges), and kept passengers onboard for one hour longer than normal, which is no pleasure at all.

Nowadays, it is not unusual for an uneventful overseas trip to take over 17 hours door-to-door, when in the past it took just 12. This is also considering that late landings lead to occupied or obstructed gate areas, crowded arrival halls and, often, increased commuter traffic on the way home from the airport.

Do I see improvements in the near future? Are there any news stories reporting that airlines are lowering ticket costs, improving travel time, widening seats, offering better meals and increasing frequent flier rewards? No? Well, there’s your answer!

By Dom Serafini